Emotions are high

Over-thinking has gotten the better of me, yet again. 

I've just been browsing the internet seeing as the kids are at the grandparents tonight, I have taken the time to complete the house work, ironing, washing and even sorted through some of the kitchen cupboards. I literally can not sleep! 

I come across this video, and I've found myself in tears. 

Everything about this defines life, defines perfect, defines what I want. 

Beyonce is beyond perfect, and her vocal talent is beyond amazing. These two are too much to handle! 

I just thought I'd share it with you all 

Is it okay, to just be okay?

I can not stop over thinking lately, I mean everyone does this - right? 

Everything seems to be changing lately, Steve has a new job and he's working away during the week. The week days have become a blur and I just find myself counting down the days until Friday comes and I can focus once again, but with my job its hard because I work most weekends and then trying to fit the kids in around work, school, family and friends it's all just getting a little too much. 

I want to be happy, I honestly do? I want to provide for the kids, and I want to prove everyone who has ever doubted me that I can do this. I can achieve big things, giving up on college was my biggest mistake. I could be at university right now, on the road the the career that I've longed for since I was young. I gave that up far too quickly. 

I know that people tell me they're proud of me, but when will I become proud? I can lie, and say that I'm proud of myself, of course! I mean, when will I truly be able to sit there and thank 'Wow, you done it. You done good. I am proud of ME' .... It seems a long shot off just yet. 

As for Imogen, I know she'd be looking down on me and want to give me a kick up the arse, maybe it is motivation I am lacking? 

I just don't feel good right now.

Everything is okay ... life is okay, I am okay, the kids are okay, my relationship is okay. 

I want more than okay.